Recommended

Reading

Some of my favorite books, blogs, follows,

and anti-perfectionism resources

No affiliate links, sponsorships, paid recs, or AI-generated content here. When possible, links point directly to the original creators and their work.

For Folks Who Take Care of Everything & Everyone

  • by KC Davis, LPC

    This little therapist-written book is about cleaning your house, but it’s also very much about mental health, cultural pressures, and self-compassion. Davis reframes care tasks as morally neutral: having dishes in the sink doesn’t make you a bad person, and having clean dishes doesn’t make you good. Especially good for anyone dealing with overwhelm, executive dysfunction, disability, burnout, or a very loud inner critic. Find it here.

  • by Oliver Burkeman

    To be clear, this is not a book about meditation at all: it’s a collection of life-changing essays by one of my personal heroes (you’ll find Oliver Burkeman on this page three times). This one is for the person who cares about everything, tries to keep on top of everything, and is holding their breath until it’s all done. Find it here.

  • by Terri Cole, LCSW

    Most folks associate the word “codependent” with addiction and romantic partnerships, but this book addresses the experience of someone who has a co-dependent orientation toward life and all relationships. This one is for the people who take care of everybody and everything, and they’re exhausted and maybe a little resentful on the other side. Find it here.

For Making Peace with Time

  • by Oliver Burkeman

    This NYT bestseller is emphatically not about “time management” as we know it. It’s a soulful, clear-eyed look at the fact that mortality is not a problem you can productivity-hack your way out of. From one of the authors that has most influenced how I think and write about productivity, perfectionism, human limitation, and choosing what matters. Find it here.

  • by Chris Guillebeau

    While this book landed a little dry and academic for such an existential topic, it has some marvelous insights for anyone who feels like time is constantly slipping away. Or who is perpetually hand-wringing about time, if they have enough of it, and whether they’re using it well. Find it here.

  • Newsletter by Oliver Burkeman

    If you’re not up for a whole book, get a monthly bite-sized dose of Oliver Burkeman’s insights on productivity, limitation, distraction, meaningful work, and generally making peace with being a finite human who cannot possibly get everything right. Sign up for it here.

On Boundaries & Rest

  • Instagram

    Nedra is a licensed therapist and the queen of boundaries. I have yet to read her books, but I can wholeheartedly recommend her instagram account (and so does Oprah!). Find her here.

  • Instagram

    Another instagram account worth a follow, The Nap Ministry—created by Tricia Hersey—is a masterclass in deprogramming from hustle and productivity culture, and leans hard into rest as resistance. Find her here.

On Attention, Presence,
& Being Alive

  • Blog & Newsletter by David Caine

    This is one of two newsletters that pops into my inbox that I actually open and read every time. Caine is such a thoughtful, witty, and humane writer on the subject of being a person: attention, habits, mindfulness, productivity, overwhelm, and the weird little experiments we can run on our own lives. Sign up for the email version on the right side of his blog here.

  • by Jenny Odell

    Artist and Stanford professor Jenny Odell is not shy about the human impact of a culture that jams technology, productivity, and attention-sucking stimulation into every corner. This NYT bestseller is info-packed but not at all dry. Find it here.

  • by Mike Rucker, PhD

    The resources above are largely contemplative. This one is about pleasure, play, and deliberate enjoyment. Surprisingly academic for the topic, but worth a read and certainly worth applying in real life. Find it here.

Theoretical Deep Dives

  • by Lewis Engel, PhD & Tom Ferguson, MD

    This obscure book is one of the most influential sources for Already Good, my anti-perfectionism work, and my development of Crappy Gods Theory. It reads like what it is—a scholarly psychology text from the nineteen hundreds—but the concepts are gold.

    Sourcing this one is tricky because it’s been out of print, republished, and renamed several times. Here’s the author’s own page on the matter.

  • by Dacher Keltner

    It wasn’t until I read this book that I started to recognize the connection between awe, perfectionism, and mental health. The concepts from this book have hugely informed how I treat anxious perfectionism as a therapist and how I add meaning and joy to my own life. Find it here.

  • by Jonah Paquette, PsyD

    This book and the one above it are ordered that way simply because that’s the order in which I read them. I would say that Paquette’s book deepens and soulfully expands the slightly-more-academic work of Keltner’s. Both are a treasure. Find it here.