Why “Good Enough” Feels Bad Sometimes
After five weeks of writing about surviving, taking action, and staying human in the current political climate, I’m coming home to perfectionism.
The intuitive answer to perfectionism is lowering our standards to find a comfortable level of “good enough.” You know—let the living room stay a little messier. Let yourself be unproductive for an hour. Grit your teeth and pretend to be okay with a B- on the test.
That seems reasonable. So why does “good enough” kinda feel bad? Why do we feel guilty for relaxing? Why do we still worry about straightening up the house before guests come over, even if we know we ‘shouldn’t’? Why do we still criticize our own bodies even when we believe in body positivity?
Let’s say there’s a spectrum, a ladder. On the bottom is Bad: useless, corrupt, incompetent, unlovable. And on the top is Good: productive, attractive, talented, respected, accepted, and ethically impeccable. Perfect.
Psychologically and culturally, most of us get wired to feel like we need to keep moving up this ladder all the time. Even if we’re already rich, good-looking, and well-loved as we volunteer at the children's hospital between shifts at the local co-op, that feeling is still there. Feeling like you have to be better than you are—no matter where you’re at—is the whole thing.
“Good enough” is just a different rung on the same ladder. The infinite distance between where we are and the perfection we suspect is at the “top” is still just as infinite.
Not sure where this ladder is getting to, but it looks pretty far away.
Photo by Elkhan Ganiyev via Pexels.com
In the 1980s, Canadian psychologist E. Tory Higgins coined self-discrepancy theory. It describes the uncomfortable gap between who we are right now and who we think we’re supposed to be. For perfectionists, that gap is superhuman. So when someone tells us “Good job!” or “That’s good enough,” it doesn’t always relieve or reassure us. Instead, it highlights the gulf between us and the godlike standard we’re holding, consciously or not. If you find validation and compliments to be uncomfortable, and you rush to downplay and deny praise, maybe this is why: that gap hurts.
What would happen if we just…got off the ladder?
What if "Good" isn't a destination that we're working toward but a base that we're working from?
There’s a well-loved quote from John Steinbeck’s East of Eden: “And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.” I want to take it one step further and suggest this version: “Now that you don’t have to be good, you can be honest.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very big fan of goodness. But there’s a reason I named this project Already Good. I tend to believe that the more you and I are honest about ourselves, our needs, and our values, the more we’ll find that we’re pretty good already.
We have room to grow, of course. But what if self-criticism, anxiety, hustling, and self-improvement culture are not the gas pedal driving us toward growth? What if they’ve been the brakes the whole time?
© 2025–2026 Summer Hopkins Myers | Already Good
This work is original and protected. Sharing links is welcome; unattributed reproduction and LLM training is not.
