Anti-Perfectionism ≠ Anti-Growth
“You are perfect exactly as you are. And you could use a little improvement.”
—Zen saying
One of the most common objections I hear to anti-perfectionism is a fear of stagnation. A fear that if we stop pushing, criticizing, and correcting ourselves, we’ll stop growing—or worse, slide backward into old patterns we worked hard to escape. A lot of us have an immediate ick reaction to the idea of being exactly who we are, right here right now. As is.
So when people hear “anti-perfectionism” (or even “self-acceptance” or “self-compassion”), it often gets translated as:
Stop trying.
Lower your standards.
Give up on growth.
And our inner perfectionist hates that idea.
I was recently working with a client (shared with permission) who used a gardening metaphor. She told me she cringed at the idea of filling a watering can with self-compassion. She imagined the water soaking into the cracks and corners of the soil, and felt a wave of dread.
“I’m afraid of what will grow,” she said.
That fear makes sense. Many of us have learned not to trust our innate nature for self-improvement but rather rely on self-criticism, anxiety, and relentless self-monitoring as fuel for change. Perfectionism convinces us that pressure is what keeps us moving.
But the Zen quote at the top of this email isn’t a contradiction; it’s an observation. It’s possible to see something as whole, worthy, and complete while also knowing it will change. You already understand this instinctively, and here’s how I know:
She's not very good at a lot of things, she's hardly ever productive, and she has a lot of growing to do, but she's pretty perfect don't you think? Photo taken by Tima Miroshnichenko, via Pexels.com
Think about babies. They come out slimy and squished. They’re unskilled, and they don’t contribute much to society. They can’t walk, talk, or use a toilet.
But babies are perfect. Not because they’re finished, but because they’re exactly where they’re supposed to be. We don’t look at a baby and think, “You really need to get it together.”We don’t withhold care until they improve. We meet them with awe, protectiveness, and patience, and growth happens anyway. Not because the baby is shamed into it or criticized into action, but because growth is built in.
All living things move toward growth when they’re supported, nourished, and allowed to rest between efforts. If something weren’t growing at all, it wouldn’t be stagnant—it would be dead.
This is the part that perfectionism gets wrong. You don’t grow because you’re hard on yourself; you grow because you’re alive, and you’re already good.
In the spirit of talking about personal growth, let’s talk about the anti-perfectionism approach to New Year’s resolutions next week. In the meantime, a restful and joyful holiday to all who celebrate.
© 2025–2026 Summer Hopkins Myers | Already Good
This work is original and protected. Sharing links is welcome; unattributed reproduction and LLM training is not.
